Today's Weather...

It's snowing. On April 1st. This is a joke, right?

Does God Control the Weather?

While doing a google search earlier today for "weather gods," I noticed that one of the suggested links was for the website ChristianAnswers.net with the title: "Does God Control the Weather?" Naturally, I followed the link. This is how it begins:

Storms, floods, and earthquakes are indeed a part of the present world. We sometimes call them "natural disasters," but they are not a surprise to God. Yes, God certainly can control the weather and send deadly storms. Some have concluded that suffering occurs because it is beyond God's control. This is incorrect. God has indeed established certain laws and principles that govern nature, but he remains sovereign over these laws.

And it goes on to give a number of biblical references to god controlling the weather, thus giving us the proof that we inquisitive minds need. There's also a link to a book entitled "Weather & the Bible" for the "amateur Einstein who loves to explore, experiment, or read about science." My favourite part, however, is the More Recent Examples section, where "in more recent centuries, there are various examples that seem to show the providence of God in history using weather…"

Apparently God sent the storm that helped to wipe out the Spanish Armada thus ending Philip II of Spain's plan of uniting Christianity under catholicism (Editor's note: God doesn't like catholicism.) As well, God sent the fog and cloud cover that helped the Allied army escape from the Nazis at Dunkirk in 1940 (Editor's note: God doesn't like Nazis.) What I gather from these examples is that if there is in fact a God, he loves the English and hates continental Europeans. I'm not sure why God didn't send a deluge or something to help the English beat the Croatians last week, but that may have something to do with Richard Dawkins or the fact that their last Prime Minister was a catholic. Alternately, God just might not care about football, though somehow I find that unlikely.

In other idiotic religious news an English woman teaching at a school in Sudan has been arrested because she let her six and seven year old students name a teddy bear Muhammad. She could face up to 6 months in prison, a fine, or 40 lashes. Charges are being prepared against her under the section of the criminal law that covers insults against faith and religion. You can't see me right now, but I'm shaking my head in a strange mixture of bemusement and disbelief.

It's Raining Again...

It's that time of year again...where every second blog entry is me bitching about the rain. But this year, I'm going to try something new, something different. I'm going to try to not let it get me down, to not let it force me into hibernation mode, to actually get out in the rain and, you know, do stuff. And I might even get myself some decent rain gear. Perhaps even an umbrella. Please note that I said I'm going to "try" those things...meaning the whole endeavour could go balls up. Think of it as a work in progress. And while I'm trying to change my attitude, I still expect to struggle with bouts of SAD. And I will no doubt occasionally feel the need to open the door to my balcony, look outside, somewhat annoyed, and let out a hearty "Fuck you, rain!" Does talking to the elements constitute crazy?

Lies!

Golden Delicious Apples. They are not particularly golden and they are certainly not delicious.

In other news that has not much to do with anything, I may have been jumping the gun a little, but I wore flip-flops for the first time this year, last night. Bring on the nice weather.

Many Thanks!

To whomever read my blog yesterday and made the rain stop, I thank you with all of my heart. It was sunny and beautiful today.

Re: The Rain

Someone please make it stop. Now. Please. Please.

Coffee on the beach!

This is the kind of day it was in Vancouver today:

Somebody...

...on the west coast has severely pissed off the weather gods. I'm not sure who or how, but sacrifices may be required to set things right. First it was the torrential rains and turbidity, then the arctic front with it's snow, ice, and sub-zero temperatures. Now it's the wind. We've been hit by at least 3 windstorms this week and as far as I know there are more on the way. As I lay in bed last night listening to the wind and rain pound against my windows, I wasn't entirely sure that my home was going to make it through the night. The neighbour of a friend of mine had their skylight blown off and she herself lost her eaves. There were many downed trees this morning and plenty of other damage including 180 000 or so homes without hydro. I have two friends who are in Vietnam right now, worried about a typhoon that may or may not be touching down. Forget that. They should be happy they're not here. Too bad when they come back they are going to find that their building has blown away.

First Snowfall!

Doo, doo, doo, looking out my back door...


I know it isn't much snow. But this is the rainy city. And there's more on the way.

Water Advisory? Whatever.

Because of the heavy rains and winds of the past few days Vancouver is currently under a boil water advisory. Basically the weather has stirred up the reservoirs, increasing the amount of silt in the water which makes it more difficult to filter. So Vancouverites are either buying bottled water or boiling their water beforehand. I fall into the latter category. However the big issue here is not the drinking water but rather an unforeseen victim of the advisory. Namely, coffee. In spite of some popular misconceptions about what the drug of choice is here in our fair city, the fact of the matter is that Vancouver is a city fuelled by caffeine, powered by the bean if you will. As someone said to me on the phone this morning, "All of the newspaper headlines should be,'Vancouver grinds to a halt.'" Here's something you may not know: coffee should ideally be made using water just under boiling temperature. So how does one make good coffee and still serve safe water? Well, apparently one doesn't. Unable to get enough safe drinking water, many of the city's coffee shops have closed down. Lots of people make their morning brew at home, but a large percentage of Vancouverites like to leave their morning cuppa to the pros. And the pros just aren't providing. Which means a lot of cranky and tired people are running about, not quite able to function at their full capacity. It should all be back to normal in a few days, but until then, please spare a thought for the poor, caffeine deprived, headache addled Vancouverites. Be patient with them.

Rain Rain Go Away 2-The Update

Apparently what is up with this rain is a weather system called the Pineapple Express. And while the name makes me think that I should be enjoying tropical fruity beverages in the sun, what it actually means is torrential downpours and flood warnings in the Lower Mainland. I feel ripped off.

Rain Rain Go Away!

What is up with this rain? This is not Vancouver rain. I suppose technically it is Vancouver rain, as it is in fact raining and this is in fact Vancouver, but to me Vancouver rain is light, misty and drizzly and lasts for days on end. But this? This is hard driving, windshield wipers on high, umbrella wrecking, slanted sideways pouring rain that lasts for days on end. Hmm. Rain often reminds me of one of my favourite Deep Thoughts. It goes something like this: If a child asks you why it's raining, it's fun to say, "Because god is crying." And if the child asks, "Why is god crying?" it's good to answer, "Because of something you did." But anyway, back to this new variant of Vancouver rain...I don't like it. It makes me want to not leave the house. It makes me want to sit on a couch, eat chili, and watch football all day long. Which is pretty much what I did today. When will it end? Paul says May, I say April, Donna says we're being pessimistic. But she's wrong, as it could end in June. Or never.

A Visit From Jack Frost

Somehow it seems wrong that I've had to scrape the windows of my car for the past two mornings. Wrong because it's Vancouver and it's not even November yet. But I don't mind too much. I like the cold. Bring it on I say.

Spring Storm & Maypole Dancing

On my way to work this morning, as I passed an intersecting side street, a big gust of wind came my way and I was caught in a blizzard. Except it wasn't snow, it was soft pink cherry blossoms. Visibility was limited, yet pleasant. This is the time of year when Vancouver looks like it has pink snow in the gutters as the blossoms fall from the trees and gather there.

Happy mayday folks! I hope all of you workers of the world are out there uniting, and all you pagans are out there getting your freak on, baa-cha-bam!

Why I Love Vancouver...

As a companion to why I hate Vancouver in the winter, here's why I love it sometimes...

It's the first day of spring and I had lunch on the patio of Havana in a T-Shirt and was worried about if I was going to get a sunburn on my face.

Enough said. Except that there's a week of rain in the forecast. Damn you, cruel city. You give me just enough so that I don't turn on you.

Actually, while we're talking about weather forecasting I heard a piece on CBC this morning about it. A prognosticator from Environment Canada said that longterm forecasting was pretty much a crapshoot, with 45-50% accuracy. Stating the obvious, that means they're wrong more than half the time. Why do they even bother? Couldn't they have just lied and said 50-55%, at least tipping the scales in favour of being correct? It's not like anyone would have bothered to check. Meanwhile, apparently there is a farmer in Saskatchewan, who predicts the weather using a frozen pig spleen and has about an 80% accuracy record.

If Winter Won't Come To Me...

I love winter. I like the snow, the cold, those bright crisp days, all of it. That said, I live in Vancouver. Vancouver doesn't have winter, it has rain. And clouds. And grey, wet days. The rain here drives me a little crazy. When I wake up in the morning and hear that drizzle sound any sense I have of the day being a good one quickly smoulders out and I have no desire to leave my bed. When the first rains come in September or October, I get a sense of dread, knowing that grey and wet raincoats and almost getting my eyes poked out by umbrellas will be my life for the next 137 months or so it will seem. The dread is enough to make me want to run screaming to somewhere in the middle of the prairies.

Knowing all this, my special lady friend, in an attempt to either get me out of the house more or to keep me sane by forcing me to do winter activities, or more than likely a bit of both, gave me a pair of snowshoes for Christmas.

Yesterday was the first time I got to go up into the mountains and try them out. I'd been snowshoeing before, but it felt different having my own pair. It made me feel like, well, like the type of person that has his own snowshoes. The weather down here in the city was beautiful yesterday, so with some cold and snow thrown into the mix, it could only get better.

I headed up Mt. Seymour for my first expedition, bought my trail pass, enjoyed the beautiful views of Mt. Baker, strapped on my snow shoes and set out on the trails. It hadn't snowed in quite a while, so the snow, and there was lots of it, was all packed down. Which meant that most of the time I didn't really need snowshoes. But darn it, I was there to snowshoe so snowshoe I would. Besides, the trail was often steep and icy, so the crampons were helpful.

It was great to be up there, walking through the snow in the woods, listening to the birds, enjoying the feel of icy cold air on skin. It may have satisfied my desire for winter for a little while, and perhaps when it is raining down here, I'll at least be able to think that it is snowing up in the mountains so I could go snowshoeing in fresh snow, but in the end, I still miss living in winter. On a happy note, I heard on the radio today that there may be flurries on the way...