люди!

This, right here, is why Russian men are super tough and you're just a great big sissy. A Russian man was knifed while drinking with a security guard at his workplace. He woke up the next morning, still at work, took the bus home, ate some sausage, then went to sleep. His wife noticed the knife handle sticking out of his back. Yuri Lyalin, the man who was stabbed, apparently has no ill will towards the man who stabbed him. He said:

"We were drinking and what doesn't happen when you're drunk?"

That reminds me of the time I once stepped on a dried lentil with my bare foot and it stuck there. I found the lentil in my bed and wondered how it got there until I later found another lentil stuck to my foot and did the math. What I'm really trying to say here is that I need to sweep my floor more frequently.