Racing Mind

Sometimes I wish I could stop my brain. It goes into hyperactivity mode and I want to do eighty seven things all at once. More often than not it happens at night, when what I should be wanting to do is sleep. But no, instead I want to be reading three different books at the same time, go out and take some photographs even though it's night and my camera isn't working very well, watch a couple of films, write some as yet undreamt of masterpiece, chisel away at a new linocut, the list goes on. And on. I think what I need is to take up zen meditation and learn how to just sit and stare at a blank wall. Or maybe I need some coffee. The upside of it is that at times like this I feel at my most creative and I have a tremendous amount of energy. The downside is that for all the mental cogs a-whirring, for all the sense of urgency I feel, I can never seem to focus on any one thing, and so I get nothing done. Then the feeling passes, I go to sleep or work or whatever and I try not to think about the fact that my time is slowly wasting away and maybe I'm not using it as well as I ought to be.