That Is A Comedy Too Much Pleasant

I recently acquired a book called "English As She Is Spoke." It has the wonderful subtitle of: Being a comprehensive phrasebook of the English language, written by men to whom English was entirely unknown. And that pretty much sums it up. It was intended to be an English phrasebook for Portuguese travelers. The work is credited to José de Fonseca and Pedro Carolino, though it seems Mr. de Fonseca has been dragged through the mud quite unwillingly and innocently. In 1837 José de Fonseca wrote an apparently perfectly competent French-Portuguese phrasebook. I say apparently as neither my French nor Portuguese is anywhere near competent, nor do I have the book. It was in 1855 that Pedro Carolino set out to write "The New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and English, in Two Parts." His problem...he didn't speak English. He did however have two very useful books; an English to French dictionary and... Mr. de Fonseca's phrasebook. Problem solved. The result is, well, the title of this entry for starters. And so many other linguistic gems, at times bordering on the poetic...

Let us go to respire the air.
At what o'clock is to get up?
Apply you at the studying during that you are young.
It is a noise which to cleave the head.
Give me some good milk newly get out.
It is not that very true.
He laughs at my nose, he jest by me.
It must never to laugh of the unhappies.

If that last one isn't a line to live by, I don't know what is. The book ends with a section called Idiotisms and Proverbs. This is where the real pearls of wisdom lie...

Four eyes does see better than two.
What come in to me for an ear yet out for another.
A horse baared don't look him the tooth.
That which feel one's snotly blow blow one's nose.
It must to break the stone for to have almond.
So many head so much opinions.

I could go on and on, quoting the entire book. But I won't. Having take my leave, I was going.