I'm Tired

I'm tired. Not like I need sleep tired, more like fatigued and weary from working too much tired. One of the great things, for me, about the film industry is that you can arrange it so that you have time off. Lots of it if you want. And I love my time off. But this year, I didn't get my time off. I had two weeks off between seasons, which is not long enough. I probably shouldn't complain too much as there are a whole lot of people in the world who work a whole hell of a lot harder than I do. But they aren't writing this. When I'm working, for months on end a big chunk of my brain is occupied with a swirl of dates, numbers, deadlines, data, schedules, concepts, episodes and whatever else I cram in there to make things run smoothly. I'm good at keeping it all together, but still, it occupies a large piece of my mind. So when I have a couple of months off, or longer, it is a chance for my mind to let go of all that minutiae, to not worry about any of it, to get that brain space back, to live at a more natural pace. Two weeks isn't nearly enough time for that to happen, hence, I feel mentally exhausted. When I wake up in the morning I'm not raring to go, I'm wishing that I had nothing to do, and dreading hearing my cell-phone ring. What I want most is to spend the days sitting on my couch, drinking coffee and reading books. I want to ignore my phone, my e-mail, not talk to anyone, just sit and read and drink coffee, maybe play my guitar if I feel up to it, for like, the next 2 months. If my couch happened to be overlooking a river in the woods somewhere that wouldn't be a bad thing, but mostly, I just want the break.