Oscar Peterson R.I.P.

Elf Yourself!

Click on the photo...it's me and two of my closest friends as dancing elves.

Evel Knievel R.I.P.

Does God Control the Weather?

While doing a google search earlier today for "weather gods," I noticed that one of the suggested links was for the website ChristianAnswers.net with the title: "Does God Control the Weather?" Naturally, I followed the link. This is how it begins:

Storms, floods, and earthquakes are indeed a part of the present world. We sometimes call them "natural disasters," but they are not a surprise to God. Yes, God certainly can control the weather and send deadly storms. Some have concluded that suffering occurs because it is beyond God's control. This is incorrect. God has indeed established certain laws and principles that govern nature, but he remains sovereign over these laws.

And it goes on to give a number of biblical references to god controlling the weather, thus giving us the proof that we inquisitive minds need. There's also a link to a book entitled "Weather & the Bible" for the "amateur Einstein who loves to explore, experiment, or read about science." My favourite part, however, is the More Recent Examples section, where "in more recent centuries, there are various examples that seem to show the providence of God in history using weather…"

Apparently God sent the storm that helped to wipe out the Spanish Armada thus ending Philip II of Spain's plan of uniting Christianity under catholicism (Editor's note: God doesn't like catholicism.) As well, God sent the fog and cloud cover that helped the Allied army escape from the Nazis at Dunkirk in 1940 (Editor's note: God doesn't like Nazis.) What I gather from these examples is that if there is in fact a God, he loves the English and hates continental Europeans. I'm not sure why God didn't send a deluge or something to help the English beat the Croatians last week, but that may have something to do with Richard Dawkins or the fact that their last Prime Minister was a catholic. Alternately, God just might not care about football, though somehow I find that unlikely.

In other idiotic religious news an English woman teaching at a school in Sudan has been arrested because she let her six and seven year old students name a teddy bear Muhammad. She could face up to 6 months in prison, a fine, or 40 lashes. Charges are being prepared against her under the section of the criminal law that covers insults against faith and religion. You can't see me right now, but I'm shaking my head in a strange mixture of bemusement and disbelief.

Not an Apology.

I've been remiss lately with the whole "new blog entries" thing, particularly the "me writing new blog entries instead of just linking to something else" thing and while I should probably apologise to any loyal readers (do I have any?) I don't really care to. If I did care, I'd be writing more, wouldn't I? Seriously, what can you expect from a guy whose name is an anagram for Herb Pants Eh?

Anyhow, now that's out of the way, I'll continue on with letting other people provide the content...

Oh, forget it, I can't even be bothered to find something interesting right now.

Later.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

Sometimes a real-true-to-life-actual-news-story is so baffling that even I can't come up with any smart ass comments to go along with it. Or at least none that aren't entirely crass or offensive, so I'll leave this one alone.

Why I don't understand the law...

Umm, could someone explain to me why this is illegal?

Great Lake Swimmers!

I went to see the Great Lake Swimmers last Saturday at Richards on Richards as part of a triple bill along with Basia Bulat and Final Fantasy. I hadn't heard Basia Bulat before, though was impressed, particularly by her voice. Final Fantasy, the headliner, I had heard before, was somewhat interested in seeing and quite enjoyed his live performance, which in turn should make me listen to him more. But the reason I went to the show was the Great Lake Swimmers, Tony Dekker really, who is the driving force behind the band. Okay, he is the band. I first heard him/them on CBC radio 3 earlier this year. Since then he/they have been my new favourite band and his/their 3 albums have been in near constant rotation for me, often each one getting multiple plays daily, though every now and then I'll fixate on a song and just listen to that over and over. It's beautiful, sparse, heart-wrenching music that strikes a whole lot of chords with me, among other reasons for its inherent melancholy. What can I say, I like my music to hurt a little bit. Anyhow, Great Lake Swimmers was who I was there to see and I was not disappointed. Actually, I was disappointed with all of the inconsiderate assholes that were talking throughout the show and the piss-poor sound mix, but I wasn't going to let those things get in the way of me enjoying the concert. And they did not. I loved it, I wanted him to play every song from every album, perhaps repeating my favourites a time or two. There wasn't too much innovative about the live performance but it was exactly what I wanted: live versions of songs I love and have listened to over and over. I guess I just wanted to see the man play and sing them. I don't know much about him, beyond what is in his music, but watching him perform I got the sense that he is a very intelligent yet painfully shy man. Enough so that I wanted to give him a hug and tell him that everything would be alright. I didn't though, because I didn't actually see him up close, but more importantly because I'd be afraid if too many people did that, he'd stop writing such heartbreaking songs. And I wouldn't want that.

Pizza of the Day

Today's pizza, my first in a while, has zucchini, red peppers, onions, mushrooms, and gouda and brie cheeses. I should have put the brie on later, as it turned into little puddles of liquid. Still tasty though...

While we're on the subject of pizza, the pizza contest will be ending soon. The entries thus far are undergoing a very stringent and rigorous testing process, and a winner will be announced before too long, but any entries I deem acceptable and worthwhile will still be admitted. Oh yeah, whoever it was that entered a pizza anonymously (no, not you Sparky)...I still don't know who you are.

It's Raining Again...

It's that time of year again...where every second blog entry is me bitching about the rain. But this year, I'm going to try something new, something different. I'm going to try to not let it get me down, to not let it force me into hibernation mode, to actually get out in the rain and, you know, do stuff. And I might even get myself some decent rain gear. Perhaps even an umbrella. Please note that I said I'm going to "try" those things...meaning the whole endeavour could go balls up. Think of it as a work in progress. And while I'm trying to change my attitude, I still expect to struggle with bouts of SAD. And I will no doubt occasionally feel the need to open the door to my balcony, look outside, somewhat annoyed, and let out a hearty "Fuck you, rain!" Does talking to the elements constitute crazy?

Hooked on the Hoff!

I have a new favourite viral interweb video ever...



The first joker to make a comment about him being huge in Germany will be found, castigated and given a lecture about their lack of cultural sensitivity.

Marcel Marceau R.I.P.

Words would be pointless.

Yet Another Grind Update.

I apologise in advance for its tardiness. So, last week we did the Grind again and we each set a personal best. They were, in descending order:

DKBC=51:30
PK=48:35
And as for SB, yours truly:

Just Drive.

Do you ever, when you're driving to work, or wherever it is you're driving in the morning, long to just skip that last turn and keep on driving? Maybe head for the highway or a quiet country road? Put on Neil Young or Ryan Adams or Hank Williams or CCR or whatever your favourite driving music happens to be? Wind the window down? Let the wind blow your hair and face while you cruise along, singing your heart out?

Or if you're taking the bus to work, you want to miss your stop, sit on the bus until the end of the line? Get off the bus and explore some new and interesting looking neighbourhood? Spend the whole day riding around, letting your mind wander wherever it may?

Or if you're biking to work, cycle right on by and head for a trail somewhere? Follow the trail to a lake or a pond in the woods? Let the day pass while you stand at the water's edge skipping stones over its calm surface?

Or instead of walking to work you walk to the beach and plant yourself on a bench? Sit and watch the world wander by as the sun warms your face and you slowly sip your coffee?

Or maybe you don't even bother leaving for work at all? You sit on your couch and play your guitar or read a book, watch the shadows crawl across the room?

What I'm asking, I suppose, is do you ever want to feel like your time is your own, like you're doing what ever it is you want to do with it, instead of feeling like you're trading away yet another day of your life in exchange for a bit of money?

Another Grind Update.

We did the Grind again last evening. I completed it in 40:56. While I didn't think I could actually beat 40 minutes this time, I was annoyed with myself for not having done so. Indeed, the first word out of my mouth after touching the post at the top was a four letter expletive that begins with F and ends with U-C-K. Apparently I need to do it again next week. Possibly even the week after. On a brighter note, congratulations are in order for PK who finally beat the 50 minute mark with an excellent 48:56.

Little People.

A guy walks into a bar with a midget on his shoulder.

It sounds like a joke.

But it's not, it really happened. I and at least 3 others saw it. And we weren't even that loaded. Nor had any hallucinogenics been taken.

Looking for Love!

In this age of interweb dating, it's refreshing to see someone looking for love the old fashioned way: one lamppost at a time...

Grind Update!

After my 44:41 time on the Grouse Grind, I wondered whether or not I would continue on or drink beer and eat poutine instead (never really thinking 'why not both?'). And, somewhat cockily, I asked Rob what he had in store for me? Well, soon after that he broke his 45 minute wall and finished in 44:48. While that didn't really frighten me (that much), it made me realise that my victory was not yet etched in the finest Italian marble with gold leaf to fill in the lettering and the silhouette of my face, so the next week it was back up the hill. I finished in 42:39 which I was obviously pleased with but as I thought about it more it became something of a curse, as I was now too close to the 40 minute mark to not have a crack at it. Onward and upward, this week's time was 41:33. I'll be happy when (if?) I beat 40 minutes. Because then I never have to do the Grind again. Go me!

Why the U.S. Legal System is Brilliant!

Michael Vick, currently facing charges for his involvement in dog-fighting, is now facing a lawsuit from a prison inmate in South Carolina, the Guardian reports. The $63 billion lawsuit claims that Vick stole two dogs from Jonathan Lee Riches, used them for fighting then sold them on e-bay. He then allegedly used the proceeds to buy missiles from the Iranian government. I highly recommend reading the transcript of the suit. Some of the other deeds Vick is alleged to have committed:

-He pledged allegiance to Al-Qaeda.
-He subjected the plaintiff to microwave testing.
-He used drugs in a school zone.
-He stole the plaintiff's ID and used it to open an account to buy pet food at Petsmart and Doggie Warehouse.

Should Mr. Riches win his suit he would like the $63 000 000 000 to be backed by gold and silver and delivered to the front gates of the prison he is in, via UPS. He also apologises that the suit is hand-written. (Yes, it's a hand written lawsuit, rife with spelling mistakes and poor grammar.)

My favourite part, though, has to be his last line:

"Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes."

Let justice be done.

Contest Update!

Thus far in the pizza contest, we have one unnamed entrant, one joker and a serious lack of fresh ideas. Does no one crave the fame associated with having me name a pizza after them and posting it here? Have I overestimated or misunderstood your attention-whoring ways?

Motivational Messages!

Some days when I come into work in the morning, someone will have hung a sign at the top of the stairs for all to read upon entry. It usually has some type of nice, little, happy, thoughtful, reassuring and uplifting message to help everyone make it through the trials and tribulations of their work day. This is today's message:

Robots

Sometimes I know that I'm living in regular-normal-world. For example, when I'm sitting at my desk, drinking coffee and wishing that rather than being at my desk, drinking coffee, I were outside in the sun, drinking coffee. (Sometimes I will then go and sit at the picnic table outside and drink my coffee and wish I weren't at work at all.) But then there are other times when I am forced to accept that maybe I live in crazy-future-world. For example, when I'm confronted with one of those machines that can record something from the television and play it back later. ON A TAPE! (Seriously, ever seen one of those things?) Or, when a country (South Korea) feels the need to devise a Robot Code of Ethics. Haven't we all seen Blade Runner and I, Robot? Don't we already know this is going to end badly?

Barry Bonds Memorabilia!

This 120cm ceramic one of a kind bad boy is currently available on e-bay. It took over 400 hours to make. Wow.

The Grind

Alternate Title: My Cockiness and Stubbornness Pay Off!

Last summer a co-worker of mine was very pleased with himself for having completed the Grouse Grind in 44:50. And he should be pleased with himself as it is an excellent time. I'm not sure why but when I heard his time I told him that I would be beat him. At the time I was running somewhat irregularly and doing not too much else. I definitely wasn't doing the Grouse Grind a couple of times a week. Soon after that, two friends and I actually did the Grind and I finished in just over one hour. It seemed my cockiness was perhaps unwarranted and definitely premature. A couple weeks later I did it again and finished in 57 minutes. But, I was still determined to beat the 44:50 time. I'm stubborn like that. The first time I did it this year, along with my two motivator pace bunnies, who, lets not kid ourselves, after the first climb of the season, stopped doing their jobs very effectively, I finished in 52:46. I let my co-worker know but I also let him know that I still intended to beat him. The next week I finished in 49:50 or so, then after a two week hiatus, 47:40 or so. All the while I kept my co-worker informed of my improvements and took joy in his realisation that I would in fact beat him. Because I'm like that. This is where it became a little complicated. When I time myself it is from the post at the gate to the post at the base of the stairs to the lodge. But my co-worker's 44:50 time was from the post to the rock clearing, which is a bit shorter than to the post. He timed himself from rock to post, did it in 37 seconds, so we gave him a very unofficial time of 45:27, with an asterisk beside it. Last week, I did the Grind in 45:29, so close to the unofficial time I could have claimed victory and no record book would have stopped me. Thankfully, my co-worker did the right, honourable and proper thing, which was too go out the next night and set a new personal best of 45:15 thus removing the asterisk and giving me a target. Finally, today, I finished in 44:41, which, in case you hadn't noticed, is faster than the original time I set out to beat. Next week, I may do the Grind again. Or, I may go out for beer and poutine. I can't really say. So, Rob, what do you got for me now?

Michelangelo Antonioni R.I.P.

Workplace Satisfaction.

Would it be wrong to quit a job because they ran out of coffee? Because we're out right now. And I'm not pleased. Not even mildly amused.

Ingmar Bergman R.I.P.

Pizza of the Day & Contest Time

Today's pizza has big chunks of tofu, red peppers, green onions, olives and a whack of garlic. Oh yeah, and Mozzarella and Parmesan cheeses. And, it's almost round. And there's dried basil baked into the crust. Which brings us to the contest. My pizzas seem to have been lacking a certain flair and creativity of late. I don't mean to say I haven't been enjoying them, just that they're lacking a certain level of excitement. This is where you come in: In the comments section make recommendations of new pizza ingredients or combinations of ingredients that I haven't thought of or tried yet. The only rule is no meat. I'm the judge so I decide who wins. The prize: I name the pizza after you, post it on my blog and you get the public recognition you so obviously desire.

Teutonic Efficiency!

Now, I don't wish to unnecessarily propagate stereotypes and I certainly don't wish to add to the rampant anti-Teutonic hysteria that is so fashionable these days, but I would like to tell you something of what it means to be organized and efficient. So, I was recently in Deutschland for a vacation. I woke up relatively early one morning, planning to take a train from Dresden to Berlin. When I got to the train station I bought my ticket but they told me the train may not actually go as there was a strike. Mind you, this conversation was all taking place in German, and my German is nicht so gut, so, that's what I understood to be happening. Sure enough, when it came time for my train to come and go, in the land of punctual trains, it didn't. After talking to some Deutsche-Bahn (the German train company) information people I learned that there was indeed a strike on but that it should only last a couple hours and the best thing would be for me to wait until it ended, then my train would come and I could go to Berlin. They gave me free coffee as I stood and waited and before too long, there was an announcement that the strike had ended and trains were resuming. The DB info people weren't really sure what was happening but kept me informed as best they could, even writing a message on my ticket authorizing a different route, should that be required, and finally when my train came they sent me to it and off I went to Berlin. Later, while on the train, there was another announcement apologising for any inconveniences caused by the 98 minute strike. It was at this point I did the math and figured out how late my train had actually been. The answer...98 minutes. Jawohl!

Slavin' for the Man!

I am going to do something tomorrow that I have not done in a very long time. I hope that after tomorrow I don't have to do it again for a very long time, if ever.
Tomorrow is a Saturday.
I am going to work tomorrow.
Yuck!

Grind!

2007 Grouse Grind Summit Series Leader Board after Day 1:

1. SB-52:46
2. PK-54:46
3. DKBC-55:20(?)

In the News...

And the award for the best headline ever goes too...

click

Pizza of the Day!

Today's pizza has jerk tofu, mushrooms, red peppers, green olives and green onions. Oh yeah, and some Gouda cheese too. Has anyone else noticed that I can't make a round pizza?

Breakfast!

Mummy!

Well now, this here news story is just plain weird.

Toronto FC

Canada's new and only MLS team, Toronto FC finally scored a goal today (three actually) at the fifth time of asking. It's good for them, I suppose, but bad for me as I was planning on writing about them going their first five games without having scored at all. They went and ruined that so I got nothing.

Divers Beware!

Mr. T weighs in on the subject of simulation in football.

Nicely Played!

Arsenal's 2-2 draw with Tottenham today means 2 things:

1. We need only 1 point from our final 3 matches to sew up a Champion's League spot.

2. Today is St. Totteringham's Day! Enjoy it.

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm off to the Whitecap's home opener in my spanky new 2006 USL Champions jersey.

Toots!

As part of my ongoing project to see as many of my ska and reggae favourites in concert as I can, I went to see Toots & the Maytals at the Commodore Ballroom last night. My concert review: Wow! Sixty one years old and the man still has it. His voice sounds just as good and soulful as it does on my recordings of him from the sixties and seventies. The audience was very much into the show, the Commodore floor was bouncing, and Toots knows how to work a crowd. "Funky Kingston" and "54-46 Was My Number" were two of the best examples of audience participation I've ever witnessed; for both he had us all singing, shouting, hopping and dancing. Those two songs, along with "Pressure Drop" and "Time Tough," and also "Monkey Man" for sheer dance energy, were the highlights of the night for me. I could have danced all night if he would have played all night; as it was I left the show sweaty and wired and very happy that I had decided to get my tired ass off the couch and go.

I Love You, My Weng Weng!

The second in an on-going series of entertaining videos of midgets from Asia:

The Doldrums or Mid-Table Mediocrity

This season has been a tough one for Arsenal supporters. Sure, there have been flashes of brilliance, a spanky new stadium, a lesser cup final and a view of great things to come, but for the most part this season has been a write off. Too many injured players, too many suspensions, too many early goals allowed, and way too many missed chances have combined to put us in the position of struggling to hold on to the fourth Champion's League spot. So this is what mid-table mediocrity feels like. And really it isn't so bad: If we're fourth, there are sixteen teams behind us. And even though we lost the Carling Cup final, sixteen or seventeen other teams won't play in a cup final this season. We expect more from our team, but that is because of the dizzying heights (yes, I said it) we've reached over the past decade. The last time we finished below fourth was 1996. Of the past ten seasons, only twice have we been out of the top two, we've won the league 3 times, the FA cup 4 times, 2 doubles, and played in a Uefa Cup final and a Champion's league final. Throw in an unbeaten season and a 49 game unbeaten stretch to boot, all the while playing some of the most attractive football around. But while Arsenal is experiencing this one-off (I trust) bad season, for the large majority of football supporters every season is like this or much worse. By the mid point of the season, most teams have almost nothing to play for, save for those far enough down the table to have a relegation battle on their hands. Chelsea who are currently buoyed by billions of Russian roubles are flying high, but before this run they hadn't won the league for 50 years. That means there are Chelsea supporters that if they started supporting the club when they were young boys, wouldn't have experienced the joy of being champions until they were well into their fifties. There are also football supporters whose teams will probably never win the league, yet they still keep going. And good for them, I say.

Cheddarvision!

Alternate Title: Why the internet is a beautiful, wonderful, and mysterious place...

I was reading an article on the Guardian website about some of the most boring webcams on the internet today and learned of what must surely be the cream of the crop. It is called Cheddarvision. The Cheddarvision website has a webcam that is focused on a wheel of cheddar cheese that is aging. It is aging. You can go to the website and watch a wheel of cheddar cheese age. That is even better than watching paint dry, which you can do at www.watching-paint-dry.com. If you're the impatient sort and don't want to watch a wheel of cheddar age in real time, you can watch the time lapse video of the first 3 months of aging here. It gets very exciting when someone puts a sticker on the cheese which later falls askew and then later still is re-aligned and so on and so forth . Also, I think at one point someone stuck a red clown's nose on the cheese. Everyone, even the cheesemaker, is a comedian apparently.

This has got me thinking of the webcams I could set up around my house. I could have the moss-growing-on-the-deck-cam. That would have been very entertaining last Saturday as I scrubbed some of it away. Or the dust-collecting-behind-my-bedroom-door-cam. Dust collection punctuated by me sweeping it away every few days. Or even the what-is-in-my-fruit-bowl?-cam. Right now, it has two navel oranges and two spartan apples. Two days ago it had an orange, an avocado, and a tomato. See the possibilities? I think the best one, though, would be, and this would take some fancy engineering and a tiny transportable camera, the how-big-is-the-cyst-on-my-eyelid?-cam. Yes, I'll work on that one.

Spit Out Your Coffee Funny!

I was just reading Richard Dawkins' thus far excellent The God Delusion when I came to this passage:

The journalist Andrew Mueller is of the opinion that pledging yourself to any particular religion 'is no more or less weird than choosing to believe that the world is rhombus-shaped, and borne through the cosmos in the pincers of two enormous green lobsters called Esmerelda and Keith.'

It was at the point of reading the word Keith and realising the absurdity of a lobster named Keith, or the unlikely pairing of an Esmerelda with a Keith that I had just taken a sip of too hot espresso. The espresso almost made it's way out of my mouth and onto the pages of the book, but I managed to hold it in, though I burnt my tongue in the process. But what was I to do? It was a library book.

The Language of World Domination...

I saw Ken Loach's excellent film The Wind that Shakes the Barley last night, which I highly recommend. There was a song in the film that a group of republican soldiers were singing as they walked through the mist or fog on their way to an ambush which was also used in the final credits. The tune was vaguely familiar and the words were in, I assumed, Irish Gaelic, though a few of them sounded recognizable as English words. The song got into my head, so when I got home I started searching on the Internet and found out this was the song in question:

Óró, Sé Do Bheatha 'Bhaile

I also found it written as:

Ó Ró Sé Do Bheata Bhaile
Óró, 's É Do Bheatha 'Bhaile
Oro Se Do Bheatha Abhaile
Oró sea de bheatha bhaile

And so on and so forth, etc. Anyone care to try pronouncing that?

Now, I understand there are often different ways of transcribing a language into a non-native alphabet, what with varying dialects/pronunciations etc., and it can take time and effort to get there, but if you are going to adopt that non-native alphabet (whether voluntarily or by conquest), get there you should. All of the Germanic languages that once used runic scripts now use the Latin or Roman alphabet, (Icelandic excluded, they're doing their own thing). It probably took a while for those languages to be, if not understood by others, at least legible to others. Which brings me to my point. In the way that the Welsh never got anywhere because of their ridiculous coracles, the Irish were never really able to dominate the world in any way, because they were entirely incomprehensible. Sure the language has a nice lilt to it and it looks cool and I'll even go so far as to say it's useful...if it's a secret code and you don't want anyone to be able to understand a bleeding thing you've written. Or even have a clue where to begin to figure out how to understand a bleeding thing you've written. And so:


Dear Ireland,

Orthographic reform. It's time.

Sincerely,

TOGM

P.S. We'll even let you have funny symbols over and around your letters like the Swedes and the Vietnamese.

Lies!

Golden Delicious Apples. They are not particularly golden and they are certainly not delicious.

In other news that has not much to do with anything, I may have been jumping the gun a little, but I wore flip-flops for the first time this year, last night. Bring on the nice weather.

Get out of my head!

I was at a party on Saturday night, a party where people were singing karaoke. Someone was singing a Madonna song to which I knew all of the lyrics. That made me realise: I begrudge her the space in my brain that is taken up by her crappy pop songs and all of the other stupid, crappy pop songs that are in my brain, not because I choose for them to be there but because they are ubiquitous. Aarrgghhhh! Now go away.

Many Thanks!

To whomever read my blog yesterday and made the rain stop, I thank you with all of my heart. It was sunny and beautiful today.

Re: The Rain

Someone please make it stop. Now. Please. Please.

Pizza Of The Day!

I like pizza as much as Sparky likes prime numbers, which is a lot. Happy 37th muchacho!


Today's pizza has marinated tofu, spinach, tomatoes, green olives and garlic. And if you'll excuse me, I will now go eat it.

So What!

I found this video over on Parkdale Pictures and it blew me away. I've listened to the tune many times, but seeing Miles & Trane et al. perform it live makes it that much better...

Too much cold!

For some reason that I am unable to figure out my refrigerator is much, much too cold, as evidenced by:
I have it turned as low as it goes and by low I actually mean high which could be confusing. Let's say instead it is as close to cold as it can be without being off while coldest is at the other end of the dial. I've even turned the freezer down. I just don't know. All of my leafy green things, my tofu, and now my yogurt is frozen. It's too much.

In other ice related news, today being NHL trade deadline day, I freed up my morning in case any teams were trying to get in touch with me, but the deadline has passed and I've heard nothing.

Done and done!

I just finished War & Peace, all 1444 pages of it. I should celebrate with a glass of vodka. Budem zdorovy! Vast in scope, it is at times gripping and compelling, other times beautiful and heart-rending, and, not surprising considering it's length, at times just plain old long-winded. I've got to say, the most difficult part to read was the final 44 pages when rather than tie everything up with a nice little bow, our dear Count Leo decided to write an essay expounding his theories on history, historiography, and free will vs. the laws of necessity. Now that this book is done, I'm not sure what is next on my reading list; either James Joyce's Ulysses or Bertrand Russell's The History of Western Philosophy.

RRSP

I learned some very disturbing, upsetting, and let's be quite honest, distressing news today. I met with my financial advisor this afternoon. And while everything seems to be going fine, I will, sadly, very sadly, not be able to retire at 35. I'm still dealing with that shock right now. I don't know what else to say. Maybe 40?

Earthquake!

I woke up sometime early this morning to my whole room and bed shaking from an earthquake. I then fell back asleep. When I woke up again I wasn't sure if there had been an earthquake and I woke up from it or if I dreamt an earthquake and then woke up or if I dreamt both the earthquake and the waking up. I'm still not sure. I've not heard anything about it on the news or from other people which makes me think I dreamt it, but at the same time, it felt pretty real. Did anyone else notice it or was it a figment of my imagination?

Snowshoeing!

It's great how, at least for me, getting out into the cold and snow can alleviate west coast inspired S.A.D. Yesterday in Vancouver was grey, drizzly, and all around miserable, as it has been for the past while. Or at least it feels like that. Anyhow, I went snowshoeing on Cypress yesterday with the J-Mac 9000 and what should have been a crap day turned into a great one. As heavy as it was raining down here it was snowing up there. The temperature was just below zero and there was lots of fresh snow. A few times in the past while snowshoeing I've felt that as much as I liked having them I didn't really require them as the snow was already packed down but yesterday they actually felt necessary. We followed a trail up through the woods to the Upper Warming Hut which was indeed a hut but not all that warm. After a little lunch break there we continued our tour by heading a bit further up Hollyburn then through winding and hilly trails in a big loop back to the base camp. We passed a couple of lookouts but visibility was so poor we ended up looking out into a wall of fog. No matter, just being out in the snow invigorated me. And there was hot chocolate at the end.

Pizza Of The Day

Today's pizza has tomato sauce, mozzarella, jerk tofu, red peppers, mushrooms, garlic, green olives, parmesan, and, yes, capers.

An Open Letter...

...to the person that broke into my car on Wednesday evening.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I can only presume that the crack (It is the crack, isn't it? I don't want to rush to judgement.) has addled your brain somewhat, as did you really think that I would leave any items of value in my car when I left it parked at night on a fairly deserted street? As you learned, to your displeasure I imagine, I did not nor do I plan to in the future. And while I appreciate that you have numerous problems and in all likelihood are in great need of assistance and support, I would kindly ask that in the future would you please stay the fuck out of my car.

Sincerely,
Me.

P.S. Thank you for not smashing my windows or actually taking anything.

One Year Old!

One year ago today I posted my first blog entry here. That means today is my blog's first birthday. Sing for it. Does that mean my blog will be entering the terrible twos? Sometime in the next year my blog should become whiny and oppositional or whatever else is supposed to happen then. Look forward to it.

War & Peace Update!

I've just reached page one thousand. That is just over two thirds of the way through the book.

Bad Brains

I was reading an article about Ian MacKaye in Exclaim last week and since then I've been giving myself a crash refresher course in hardcore. And what I want to know is this: Bad Brains...how come no one ever made me listen to them? How come no one sat me down and said, "you need to hear this?" I always wrote them off as just another hardcore band, never knowing what I was missing. Their mix of hardcore, reggae and dub is good. Very good.

My trip to the dentist...

I went to the dentist today to have a filling that I'd had replaced a few months ago replaced yet again, as it has been bothering me for some time. I got in the chair, the dentist froze my mouth then started drilling. Now, having high-powered metal tools whirring and grinding away inside your head is never pleasant, but usually it is no more than annoying or uncomfortable, for me at least. But this time, a few minutes into the drilling excruciating pain shot up the side of my head. I raised my hand, which the dentist had told me to do if it hurt, and he stopped. For whatever reason the freezing hadn't worked as well as it ought to have, so he refroze it, waited for it to take effect, then started drilling again. But again a few minutes into the drilling it started to hurt again, not as bad as the first time, but still a lot more pain then I'd experienced in a dentist's chair before, so again I raised my hand. He then brought out the big guns, some super-duper freezing that I'd never needed before. For the most part that did the trick and the procedure continued with some painful sensitivity but nothing I couldn't take. At least he didn't charge me for it. By the end of it the back of my t-shirt was soaked with sweat from my being so tense. And now...well, now the freezing has worn off and I figure that since I needed two and a half times the regular amount of freezing, that pain that has taken over my head is two and a half times the pain of a normal filling. And don't forget, pain is exponential. I have a question...does Jameson's count as an acceptable pain-killer?

Emasculation

The best insult I've been had thrown my way in the past couple of weeks:

"You're a vegetarian? Oh, I thought you were a man."

And speaking of coffee mugs...

As you can see, I haven't deleted my entire blog and I've even been writing a little here and there. A number of people have told me they're glad I still am and who am I to deny giving the people what they want? The thing that I liked most that someone said to me about it was along these lines: Even though I don't really get too personal here, there is so much going on in my mind that reading my blog is like having a quick coffee with me. You get a bit of a glimpse of what I'm thinking about or what is interesting me at any given time. I like that thought, so with that in mind, I continue...

I like it. I don't like it.

Have you ever had the experience of realising that you don't like something that you thought you actually liked? You never really thought about it too much, you just presumed you liked that thing, but then for whatever reason were made aware that you didn't? I used to work with a guy that thought he liked Belle & Sebastian. He had bought albums and even concert tickets but shortly before the concert, he realised that, no, he didn't actually like Belle & Sebastian. They were too whiny. I recently had a similar experience. I have this set of 2 coffee mugs that I've had for 12 years now. I still lived in Ontario when I got them; when I moved out west, I packed them up with all of my things that I wanted to hang on to, that I would collect and start using again at a later date. Over the years I have slowly whittled away at that pile, actually shipping or bringing a bunch of these things out here, also getting rid of lots of things that I thought I needed or wanted, but realising that since I hadn't actually used these things in 10 or more years, I didn't obviously need or really even want them. Five years ago I spent a year living in Toronto and I used those coffee mugs then; I even packed them up when I returned out here, putting them back into that pile to be collected and used at a later date. Finally in December when I was back home for the holidays I got around to shipping these mugs out here along with a number of other things. One morning last week, I was drinking my morning coffee in one of those mugs and I thought: "This is a crappy mug." Ergonomically it is poorly designed plus it is somewhat cheaply made. I'll probably give them another chance, but I think most likely they'll be going away. Sorry you two mugs, but thanks for the memories.

In The News...

The best headline I came across on a news website today:

"Spacewoman charged with trying to kill love rival."

It's a lot less interesting when you read on and learn that she's just an astronaut and not actually from outer space..

Coffee on the beach!

This is the kind of day it was in Vancouver today:

Salty goodness!

I'm addicted to this stuff right now.

Hiatus!

As of yesterday at about 17h30, I am now officially on hiatus. You may recall (though I don't know why you would) that about 10 months ago I wrote about my desire to do absolutely nothing. Now that I'm on hiatus my wish has finally come true. Which means that today is pretty much the best day ever. I got up this morning, lazed about in my housecoat for a while drinking coffee, had some breakfast, went for a run around Trout Lake, had some perogies for lunch, went to the studio to get my pay cheque (there's a wonderful feeling to reaping the fruits of your labours while not actually performing any of those labours), walked up The Drive to go to the library, had an espresso at Abruzzo, did some grocery shopping, then came home and I'm now making an eggplant, green-onion, tomato curry for my dinner. After dinner I'll go see a movie, then go to meet a friend for a beer. I suppose that all sounds like a lot for doing nothing, but it's all things I wanted to do and didn't have to do. And you know what I'm going to do tomorrow? Whatever the hell I feel like. (NB: That will not include packing up or cleaning out any one's garage, be they friend or otherwise. You know who you are.)

Blue Monday!

Did everyone feel crappy yesterday? A UK scientist, Dr. Cliff Arnall, has come up with a formula to determine the most depressing day of the year and that day was yesterday. It's a combination of factors including it being a Monday, the crappy weather, people having a poor self-image following their holiday binging, New Year's resolutions coming off the rails and people feeling financially strapped as the credit card bills from their holiday over-spending start to pour in. And I thought it was just me.

For those of you interested, here's the formula: (lifted directly from Portsmouth Today)
1/8 of W + (D-d) multiplied by 3/8 of TQ. This is then divided by the result of M multiplied by NA.
W is weather, D is debt – minus the money (d) due on January's pay day – and T is the time since we were actually enjoying ourselves at Christmas. Q is how much time has passed since we quit a bad habit (by the end of the month we are more likely to be back on the fags again), M stands for general motivational levels and NA is the need to get off our backsides and do something about it.

Blogsistentialism!

Based on the dearth of new entries, you can probably tell that I haven't had much interest in writing here of late. For a number of reasons, I seem to be running out of steam with blogging. I'm not sure if it's seasonal or personal, but I just haven't felt like writing, like forcing myself to come up with new entries, interesting or otherwise. I'm far too careful and guarded a person to write openly and honestly about personal matters here and lately that's where my mind has been. And because that's where my mind has been, I haven't really been bothered about writing the usual trite fluff that ends up here, which in turn makes me ask myself, why bother at all? A couple of times in the past couple of weeks my finger has been hovering over the delete button, yet for whatever reason, I hesitate. It's only vanity to think that my blog actually matters, when there are roughly twelve million three hundred and forty two thousand, six hundred and eighty seven other blogs, many of them well and thoughtfully written and more deserving of your time, dealing with important issues and not just recycling humourous You Tube videos and funny stories I come across on the interweb. I realise that friends and family read this, and part of my original reason for writing a blog was so that people I'm not very good at staying in touch with would know what's going on in my life. But as I wrote earlier, I don't really write about personal issues here, so after reading this, they still won't really know what's going on in my life. Here's a novel idea: take the time I spend blogging and use that towards keeping in touch with the people that matter to me. Don't worry (there's that vanity again) I'm not going to do anything rash like delete it all right now. I'm going to think about it a bit, see if maybe it's just a phase or if my interest will reawaken. Who knows, maybe I'll be back stronger than ever. Maybe I'll even write about something that really matters to me or means something to me. But don't be too surprised if I don't either. Until then, muchachos, keep on keeping on.

Everyone's new hero...

...or just something to work towards.

Floor crosser!

I've just learned some disturbing news. Other than a few months when I first moved to Vancouver and a summer spent in a beach house, I've prided myself on living in (The People's Republic Of) East Vancouver. I like the fact that I live in a leftist feminist pinko commie part of the city that for all but 9 of the past 71 years has been represented by either the NDP or it's predecessor, the CCF. Okay, background out of the way, here's the bad news...

I've recently moved, well within East Vancouver still, but unbeknownst to me, I moved 3 streets out of the Vancouver East riding. That means I now live in the Vancouver Kingsway riding. That means that shameful, floor crossing, turn-coat David Emerson is now my member of parliament. A conservative. Yuck. Bring on the election.

Best Albums of 2006

Because I like lists and because it is the time of year when people make lists, here is my list of the best albums from 2006. They're not really in any kind of order, they just are.

Return To Cookie Mountain by TV On The Radio
A good, somewhat challenging listen, but definitely worth it...also, one of the highest energy concerts I've been to in years. And I love Kyp Malone's hair.

St. Elsewhere by Gnarls Barkley
Eight or nine months on and I still can't get "Crazy" out of my head.

The Life Pursuit by Belle & Sebastian
Maybe not their best album, but getting back to form, and in the single "Another Sunny Day," they have what is my pick for song of the year. Hands down, I listened to that song more than any other last year.

Studio One DJ's Volume 2 by Various Artists
I love these Soul Jazz Records re-releases of Studio One material. This one picks up where volume one left off...

Studio One Scorchers Volume 2 by Various Artists
See above. Substitute Scorchers for DJ's.

Awoo by The Hidden Cameras
A very catchy album from a very good Toronto band.

Nebraska by Bruce Springsteen
I know that this came out in 1982, but I don't care. I discovered it in '06 and have probably listened to it more times than some albums I've had since 1982.

Cansei De Ser Sexy by Cansei De Ser Sexy
You've got to like a band that starts off their debut album with a song called CSS Suxx when they are in fact the CSS in question.

Game Theory by The Roots
Perhaps the best album by one of the best hip-hop bands ever.

The Dusty Foot Philosopher by K'Naan
I'm not sure if this came out in late 2005 or early 2006, but again I don't care. Tales of growing up in post melt-down Mogadishu by this Toronto-based, Somali-born rapper, among other things. Good stuff.

Jamaica To Toronto: Soul, Funk & Reggae 1967-1974 by Various Artists
A great collection of tracks from a bunch of JA expats living in Toronto, some well known, some not known at all. Vancouver based DJ Sipreano spent 3 years compiling, researching and tracking down some of the artists and I'm glad he did. This album sheds some light on a little known part of Canadian musical history. The music itself, not surprisingly considering the title, is a smooth blend of soul, funk and reggae, often all at the same time.

Fox Confessor Brings The Flood by Neko Case
She just seems to get better with each album.

Panic When You Find It by Young & Sexy
An excellent album from an excellent Vancouver band, and hey, I used to work at a bakery with the lead singer/songwriter/guitarist.

Everything All The Time by Band Of Horses
I know I said that this wasn't in any order, but if I had have done this as a countdown, this album would be in this, the final spot. It is currently my favourite album and has been since I got it. And I think it will be for some time, at least until the new Shins album comes out at the end of this month, which I fully expect will be a mainstay of my listening for 2007 and will be on this list, should I do it again next year.